Friday, November 30, 2007

The New Girl

So I'm still checking things off the gigantic list of new-employee training, and since I found myself with nothing (in the public interest) to do, I made my way up to the "self-learning" lab on the 12th floor. This day of orientation taught me the following:
  • The union will act on my behalf no matter what, but unless I pay dues, I have no say about what they think really is "on my behalf";
  • I shouldn't take time out of a full building evacuation to look for bombs;
  • I should never admit fault if I'm involved in a car accident with a federal vehicle;
  • Tidbits like these are buried in six hours of orientation conference presentations;
  • Six hours attached to mono headphones is a very long time;
  • One good thing about the feds taking so long to make changes is that you can watch an orientation conference taped in 2003 and it still mostly applies to 2007;
  • Seven-year hiring freezes tend to impede the creative process when presenting orientation materials; and
  • It could be worse.

Even though this truly is painful, technically there are no jobs here. If I weren't so lucky, I could still be a consultant. Ick.

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