The New Girl

So I'm still checking things off the gigantic list of new-employee training, and since I found myself with nothing (in the public interest) to do, I made my way up to the "self-learning" lab on the 12th floor. This day of orientation taught me the following:

• The union will act on my behalf no matter what, but unless I pay dues, I have no say about what they think really is "on my behalf";
• I shouldn't take time out of a full building evacuation to look for bombs;
• I should never admit fault if I'm involved in a car accident with a federal vehicle;
• Tidbits like these are buried in six hours of orientation conference presentations;
• Six hours attached to mono headphones is a very long time;
• One good thing about the feds taking so long to make changes is that you can watch an orientation conference taped in 2003 and it still mostly applies to 2007;
• Seven-year hiring freezes tend to impede the creative process when presenting orientation materials; and
• It could be worse.

Even though this truly is painful, technically there are no jobs here. If I weren't so lucky, I could still be a consultant. Ick.